Hi Hoe Yea Wen,

I will just write in general about your cover letter and then I will write about branding your self in a cover letter.

First of all I want to say it is a nice cover letter and simple to read. You write in a way that I don't need to read it several times so I can understand what you want to say. But that said maybe you should focus more on branding your self. You are writing how the education can help you and how they are as a university. Maybe write more about what experience you have, and elaborate more about why you are particularly interested in studying that. Why do you want to take a master in it. You write you "..want to improve the quality of the public´s health through diet as a form of preventive measure......", something that is really good. There you show what you want to do later on and whats your aim goal.

Second thing is that you need to brand your self better, maybe write why your are the one they should select between the other hundreds of applicants. Because I think more people will have the same bachelor as you. Why choose you and not someone else? What makes you unique from everyone else? What kind of experience do you have, have you been volunteering any were or have more professional experience, when it comes to this area?  

Hi Yea Wen,

Your application letter is written in a very subtly persuasive manner. I'm quite sure it would get you a place in King's College.

Perhaps you would like to elaborate more about what knowledge and skills your current degree has prepared you for. That way it can make your application letter even more convincing. Also, like what Sumea mentioned, it would be great if you could identify what makes you stand out from the rest of the applicants for the masters programme. I have no idea how many candidates will apply for this programme but it would definitely increase your chances if you tell them what’s unique about you.

Just like Bernard, you have clearly stated your aspirations and ambitions of pursuing your masters in this area of study while Bernard’s goal is to be certified as a Professional Engineer. And I truly admire you having such a clear objective in mind to be a dietician.

All the best as you apply for your masters!  

Hi Yea Wen,

I agree with Sumea that you have not shown good reason why the administration should choose you instead of other students.

You should expand more on your industry placement with Singapore Food Industries Ltd and describe what exactly the experience you gain there that is relevant to your future career as a dietician. This will show the King's College London administration that you are really interested.

Lastly, I will share to you that graduate school is only interested in having cheap labor to help them with their research. Thus, it will be great if you have experience in research-related work for your application to King's College.

Good luck and All the Best!

 

Hi Sumea,

Thanks a lot for your advice. I agree that I still need to brand myself better, but currently I do not have much experience in the related area. Hence, my cover letter is still rather general.

Hi Ronald,

Thanks for your comment. Hope that you can discover your ambitions as well and achieve your goals:)

Hi Eric,

Thanks for sharing the fact with me.I will make the appropriate changes. All the best for your application as well!