Hi Yea Wen.

This is one post that serves us as a reminder that we will face such problems in our working life next time. We tend to go to work with our own ideas and opinions and lack the time and effort to listen to others. In your situation, it is advisable not to take sides as that will bring you into the argument. Your job as a mediator is to bring about an agreement among two or more disagreeing parties. This may not be easy and it requires the parties to stop all the arguments and share their opinions in their most calm manner. Calmness brings the point across more effectively and probably, the head dentist can come up with a better solution to his big loss. Indeed, what we have learnt in class about effective listening will improve our communication with our colleagues next time.

Min Thu  

Hi Yea Wen,

Min Thu brought up a good point on being a mediator in your situation is better not to take side, but instead help in arriving at a concensus for both parties. Being a minor role in the workplace, perhaps finding the truth about who made the mistake is not within your ability, but i would suggest that you can try to talk to both parties individually, explain the situation to them and at the same time calm them down. I believe eventually the dentist will come up with a solution and probably decide not be so cruel to dismiss any of them. After the incident, you can organise a cohesion session to bring back the happiness in the clinic and at the same time allow more bonding to improve the relationship between each of them.

Yong Sheng  

Hi Yea Wen,

You share a very intriguing story and also probably the most relevant considering that the conflict occur in the professional setting.

The reason that the conflict arise is understandable. After all $5000 is a huge sum of money. I agree with Min Thu and Yongsheng that as a mediator you should not take side. Taking sides will inevitably hurt the other party and there is nothing more hurtful than when a third part join the other side.

Although ignoring the problem is often not a very good idea, however in this case I think it is possibly a justified move to take. First, this is technically not a problem that you have any means to solve - you do not know who is the person who really make mistake. You may have suspicion but do not share it to anyone. Sometimes dropping the ball can be a good move.

Second, continue to be pleasant to both party. Continue your relationship with both of them and avoid being dragged to join with either party in blaming others. If I were asked to do so, I will kindly decline with the reason that I am not fully aware of the problem.

I hope this conflict ends well.
 

Hey Yea Wen,
The situation you have described is indeed difficult to handle given the fact that you are in a precarious position .Though ignorance will not solve the problem ,I have to agree with what Eric said ,as you really can't directly solve the problem without creating further conflicts and so the best thing to do is not get involved in their conflict.However,your ignorance should not be at the cost of your relationship with both of them.Again as Eric pointed out,be pleasant to both parties and you could serve as a medium to voice out their frustrations so that you also help reduce their agitation.  

Thank you, Yea Wen, for sharing this dramatic conflict. You describe the people involved and the context very clearly and concisely. The main problems also is clearly articulated. At the end, you leave the reader with a fine, specific question to consider. To that you've received useful feedback.

Your hope for acting as an effective mediator is quite admirable.

Only a few language issues detract:


1) On the other hand, the other nurse (Pat), (we just discussed this) >>>

2) She tends to be more careless at work as well. (tense) >>>

3) Squabbles were frequent in the clinic but a huge fight was very rare. >>>
Squabbles were frequent in the clinic while a huge fight was very rare.

4) which costs him to lose $5000. >>>
which would cost him to lose $5000.

5) He even added that either she had to compensate for the loss or she will lose her job. (tense) >>>
He even added that either she had to compensate for the loss or she would lose her job.

6) and I do not who to side. >>> ???

In any case, thank you very much for the effort with this vivid tale of workplace conflict.

I look forward to seeing how the issue was resolved.
 

Actually, for #4 above, it should be

which would cause him to lose $5000.

 

Hi everyone,

To be honest, this is a fabricated situation but the characters are real. Most of the time, I would be caught in between Pat and the dentist instead. Just like what some of you had mentioned, it is better not to take side and that is what I normally do when I am caught in similar situation. However, sometimes I feel like a “two-sided person”. When the dentist said something bad about Pat, I would just agree. Then when Pat said something bad about the dentist, I would just agree as well. Therefore, I feel quite guilty at times.

Nevertheless, thanks a lot for all the good advices and maybe I can put them to good use next time.

Min thu, you mentioned about calmness and I absolutely agree that it is really important to wait till both of them calm down. They will most probably not listen to what I said when both of them are still angry. Yong sheng, I like the idea on the cohesion session. It will be really awkward if everyone is still angry with each other after the situation.

Eric and Sai, I would actually do what you had suggested if this situation was real. This is because I am not really good with words and I am afraid that I will mention the wrong things when I am calming them down. Furthermore, I am younger than both of them. They may not take my words seriously after all.

Brad, thanks for your comment. I have edited my post accordingly.